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I hope to god you discovered this through conversations with friends or family, and not through somebody begging you for naughty pictures. Nobody told me not to do it. I had just turned 13 when a guy friend started sending me messages with increasingly sexual tones. I was curious. I would message him at night, under my quilt, ready to shove my phone under my pillow should my parents come into my room. What I do know is that a large part of why I responded was a need for recognition.

Find a friend to talk to. Find a safer outlet. But in my case, that was a big reason. Puberty is rough, I know. Your body changes, and suddenly, everyone has something to say about your sexuality. The church will tell you to abstain, your parents will give you the talk, boys and men will start to notice you in a different way. I get it. When I was thirteen, a boy asked me if my boobs were big enough to give him a boob job. I searched up the term on urban dictionary, and then looked down at my then-B cup breasts. I felt self-conscious.

Was I less attractive because of that? Talk to older girls. Read books. Watch educational videos. Heck, go ahead and touch yourself. Figure out your body before letting someone else do it for you. There is absolutely no security to be found in a boy dictating what your body is physically capable of. One of the things your body is physically capable of is pleasure. Not his. Because sex, and anything sex-related, should be on the grounds of mutual understanding.

When it comes to sex, if you are even slightly unsure, please say no. There will be a lot of pressure to say yes. And trust me, that pressure will not lessen as you get older. And the younger you learn to fight back, the better you will be able to deal with the goading that might come your way later on. It took me three years to learn to say no. Was it worth it? At thirteen, I was still going to church, and I hid in the toilets or sat in the corridor above the service hall because I felt too dirty to be in the presence of the Lord.

At 13, I was still living with my parents. I was terrified every time I unlocked my phone in front of them. Of course I still want validation. Of course I still want to feel appreciated and accepted.

Six years ago, it was very illegal. Six years ago, if you asked me if this whole thing was worth it, I might have told you yes. But now? Some of my photos got spread around, no matter how careful I was with them. Other photos got accidentally opened in front of friends. Rumors went around. It came crashing down. I thought I was filthy and not worth anything. And there is no point sacrificing your comfort or safety to make yourself or your partner feel good for a little while.

Is it entirely on us? Is it entirely up to us to say no? Of course I hope that whoever you end up with knows better than to attempt sex acts with minors, and can sense and respect your boundaries. I was texting normal people. I kept quiet about this for so long because I thought it was embarrassing. I worried what my family might think if I published this. I worried what my peers might say. When I was thirteen, there was no such thing as Snapchat.

Please say no. Not because the onus to stay pure is on you, but because you can. I know; at thirteen, all I wanted was affection and attention. Your body is fine. But I promise you, you will get there. You will get to a point when you know your body is good. Please, please, please trust me on this one. You are already worth it. I hope that one day sex education talks about saying no as much as it talks about the concept of abstinence.

If that were the case, cybersex would be totally fine!! You can say no because you want to. Go ahead and think about sex, talk about sex, develop healthy opinions about sex. Focus on you. Focus on building those thoughts. Keep yourself safe. Remember your worth. Need help? US Edition U. News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Newsletters Coupons.

Terms Privacy Policy. Part of HuffPost Women. All rights reserved. Huffington Post. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. I'm 13, And I'm Sending Nudes. Gabbi Wenyi Ayane Virk. A letter to underage girls. When I was thirteen, I was told endlessly about the repercussions of sex. I was never told I could say no because I wanted to.

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